Parenting after Separation / Divorce
After divorce, the role of spouse ends, however the role of parent continues. You may find it helpful to stop and think about the following questions:
- How can I be involved in my child's life?
- How do I manage parenting if my former spouse and I can't get along?
- How can I get along with my former spouse well enough to parent our children together?
Joint custody arrangements, especially after an acrimonious split, can be exhausting and infuriating. It can be extremely difficult to get past the painful history you may have with your ex and overcome any built-up resentment. Making shared decisions, interacting with each another at drop-offs, or just speaking to a person you’d rather forget all about can seem like impossible tasks. But while it’s true that co-parenting isn’t an easy solution, it is the best way to ensure your children’s needs are met and they are able to retain close relationships with both parents.
It may be helpful to start thinking of your relationship with your ex as a completely new one—one that is entirely about the well-being of your children, and not about either of you. Your marriage may be over, but your family is not; doing what is best for your kids is your most important priority. The first step to being a mature, responsible co-parent is to always put your children's needs ahead of your own.
In every separation or divorce, you as a parent need to recognise the importance of finishing what you both started - raising your children. Separation and divorce are difficult for most children. They benefit when they have relationships with both parents and they tend to adjust better to divorce when:
- They have a good relationship with both of their parents.
- Parents don't argue, especially when the children are present.
- Both parents respond to the needs of their children.
- Parents don't place their children in the middle of their conflicts.
Kath Fielden can help you with any parenting issues you may may have.
